sucking on the sugar titty of vicariousing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

*sucking on the sugar titty of vicariousing
(elegy for those willing to be being automatons)

what’s this who i’m pretending to be
the one outside i’m seeing through 
or some anybody else i’m wishing i am
what’s this i’m feeling that i cannot see
wandering all around here 
some where inside of me

how’s it my fault for this what i’m being
with this scared wrapping here
all up around my knees
and what the hell i’m ‘sposing to be doing
when aint nobody seeing nobody here 
not even some nother body called me

so if i’m the one always being ‘sposed to cry
and who everybody’s figuring’s be going to die 
why shouldn’t i be acting like somebody else  
numbing fantasizing and aint feeling no pain
by filling up this bitter hole i aint wanting to be
with anybody i’m told is mo’ better than me 

Copyright © 1993, 2004, 2018, 2019 Asili Ya Nadhiri

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