a-bet-ty-ing-d

soft dark berry
dark berry plum lips
whose succulent smile
never leaves their horizon

baiting eyes they posed
in a desperate silence
shouting!softly
to some thing where
inside in your self

scared and wondering
in the straw figurines
you floating all around you
in on your way going
your aging brown fingers
tracing out the tiny circle
in which you dissolve 

Copyright © 2003 Asili Ya Nadhiri

(me don’t me want me be loved
want be me just me romance-inged) 

*parramore-inged-ing
(like they aint no mo’ playing checkers no mo’)

ah ju’ah’ju’ah juuu ju Juuuuuuu
ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . .
they dark faces wait’n ‘round
when they use’ta be stand’n dere lean’n here sit’n
stare-ing on inside veined browned yellowing eyes
who in dey heads black mans
who in dey heads jitterbugging
ah ju’ah’ju’ah juuu ju Juuuuuuu
ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . .
why do you look on walking
so far-ring away here
full-ling with what
it farther-ring you on
in the cover you warming
but will not let you see
ah ju’ah’ju’ah juuu ju Juuuuuuu
ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . .
ah ju’ah’ju’ah juuu ju Juuuuuuu
ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . .

corners they porches
slowly there quickly no parking
strolling on in they standing there standing
waving out through they look’n
nodded they nodding on nodd’n avenues
ah ju’ah’ju’ah juuu ju Juuuuuuu
ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . .
still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
duh rhyme it fake’n me out
aint what be me this any way 

still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
still hear this sump’n in’me feel’n
jes’ caint i tell what it say
duh rhyme it fake’n me out
aint what be me this any way
aint what be me this any way
aint what be me this any way
aint what be me this any way

ah ju’ah ju juuu JUUUUUuuuuuu . . . 

*The heart-street of the oldest African
American residential area in Orlando, Florida 

Copyright © 2001 Asili Ya Nadhiri

(this self-devouring coffling
of our serpentining norm
is desperately swallowing us on into
a hollowing entangling porn)

! MeMeMeMeMeMe! . . .

HELL NO! can’t afford seeing you
be keeping you from seeing me
and doing all them other things
so making how  it’s ‘sposed to be
can’t gon be counting no body else
but this one we calling !me!

this why no longer this pretending
i’m caring about some how and why
i’m screaming!me!
echoing in yo’ head all the time
deeper on deeper ensconcing on down
rapidly eroding our hallowed ground
so nothing here but ME’s be’n heard

this endless perverse-nationing renown
accumulate’n in all up’n’under our ruse
we needing a new brand new kinda muse
dat aint ah’humming and ah’sanging
and ah’drumming no blues

so what’s left for me to be saying
‘cept keep yo’ ass here  way on over there
on outa my goddamn way!
‘less’n you gon be here ah’chanting
real loud about !me!

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

you just waste’n yo’ damn time
‘cause i aint gon be this who
you always showing here for me
‘cause this sho aint the one i’m want’n
running around acting like it’s me

why come you doing me like this

how come you there laughing at me
wearing all these different kinda faces
huddling here in the pockets of my eyes
that i keep try’n on one after another
‘cause none of ‘em aint making
aint none of ‘em making me their size
this why i’m always running on
to the next one i’m git’n memorized

and i’m !hate’n! the one
you always having here for me
—this ugly damn face that’s mine
just there wait’n here in behind
that splashing loud addicting glittering
of all them sponsored synthetic druthers
so you spiteful old cheap piece of glass
you can kiss my goddamn ass!
‘cause this one you be showing here
sho as hell aint what i wanna see
i’m-going-out-some-where-right-now!
‘n find a new ‘nother other for this sham
a one who at least for today
i gon be make’n like it them
who i am

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

you just waste’n yo’ damn time
‘cause i jes aint gon be this who
you showing here for me to see
‘cause this aint the one i’m want’n
running around acting like it’s me

why come you doing me like this 

how come you there laughing at me
wearing all these different kinda faces
huddling in the pockets of my eyes
that i keep try’n on one after another
‘cause aint none of them’s make’n
aint making me their size
this why i’m always rushing on
to the next one i’m git’n memorized

and i’m always !hate’n! what waiting
behind all them dimming others
this same damn ugly damn face
the ugly damn face that’s mine
who dat it never gon shine
so you spiteful old cheap piece of glass
you can kiss my goddamn ass!
‘cause all this what you showing here
sho as hell aint what i gonna see
i’m going out some where right now!
and find a new some body for this sham
a one who just for today
i gon be make’n like it them
who i am

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

(this self-devouring coffling
of our serpentining norm
is desperately swallowing us on into
our hollowing entangling porn)

! MeMeMeMeMeMe! . . .   

HELL NO! can’t afford seeing you
be keeping you from seeing me
and doing all them other things
so making how   it’s ‘sposed to be
can’t gon be counting no body else
but this here one we calling !me!

this why no longer i’m just pretending
i’m caring about some how and why
i’m screaming!me!
so it’s sounding   in all yo’ words’n’mine
deeper on deeper ensconcing on down
voraciously eroding our hallowed ground
and nothing but ME is be’n heard
with no surmising and bain surprisings

just too scared in here to be peeping!
‘cause how then is we gon be hiding
when sho’nuff light will be seeping
on into this tomb with no elbowing room
and this endless pervertionationing mound
keep ‘cumulate’n in   up’n’under our ruse
we needing a new brand new kinda swoon
dat aint ah’humming and ah’sanging
and ah’drumming no blues
but us keep’n on is-ing just like us is-ing
so what’s left for me to be saying
‘cept keep yo’ ass here   way on over there
yonder outa my goddamn way!
‘less’n you gon be here chanting
real loud about !me!

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

what else should we be expecting . . .

drown’n here swirlling ‘round splash’n
grabbing onto soft decaying straws
spilling out of our serpentining maze
silently begging loudly for warm arms
caroming on away from one another
away-ing on away-ing on awaying
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
desperately so arrogantly masquerading
in the glaring darkness of our feeling alone
orchestrated march’ns in coffling crowds
they emptying fictitious demonstrations
of refuse’n to perceive our self abusing ruse
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
here spinning collateralling aboundings
of our INCESS-ant duplicitious transgress’ns
festering ‘tween walls of our own disdain
of how we’re hustling so not to realize
this celebratory racing to our own demise
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
this seeming like we seemings
desolving on into kaleidoscopic pixilations
and the quicksanding haze of our faze-ing
with it’s hovering thickening is every where
infusing blues marrowing in all we dare
and keep on claiming we’re doing the other
but so scared in this swallowing evanescing
we just can’t be letting ourselves to be care’n
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

em-spiralling-ning-ing . . .

desperationings in twirlling confoundings
spasmings of enthraling ratiocinationing
emswallowing here in our colding Oms
checkmating  in them guises we wear’n
swirl’n ‘round disconsolationing on
declare’n us be anon phenomenon
conceiving in lonely catacombs
 smugly we’re just   erasing us
pretending they our homes
all in toothless gummings
who always never done
of our own deceptive
we ever whirlling on
serpentining ruse
in alone’n serries
us in our maws
birlling inside
dissolving
on down
scared
in’my
just
me
‘n
‘n
‘n
.
.
.

Copyright © 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri

every body we all entitling
 in our own decadencing

—welfare-inged moments
they chanting and caressing us all
bleeding on through the veils of invisibled-ling faces
running on out here all over us all
splashings loudly bodaciously so afraid-ing
loquaciously splatterings in the pupil-ling of our eyes
hooching things hazing synthesizing fantasizings
paralyzing socializing with infantizing mesmerizing—
we all !!SCREAMING!!quietlyingSO LOUDLY
selfishly shamming inside this pretending
desperately wander’n grabbing!SO SCARED!
holding on to those louder some bodies else-ing
public booty shaking’s our coffling shuffle
in closets coming out in every which’a way
better always watching where you stepping
and what whom you woo-ing here when
and beseiging ourselves in words impounding
serpentining cliches rapaciously serializing
with our mathematizing self- imperializing
ingurgitate’n we legislating a vulturine abode
running all around frantically hallucina-tizing
obsessing over power with such tiny lil ’l hands
probates unbeholding in this boundless expanse
and we’re all just random custodial guests
here mesmerizing in this bale synergizing
spinning with our mouths camouflaging it all
anxiously waiting for another decadencing
so aint seeing how we all imploding us all
—they spreadinged and swallowinged on
in this low droning stare of who
this who in here who for they selfing
purpled grey splotchings aloninged
wrinkling and drying on out on one another
growinged hard too soon—

Copyright © 2003, 2007, 2015, 2016 Asili Ya Nadhiri