sucking on the sugar titty of vicariousing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

sucking on the sugar titty of vicariousing
(elegy for most all of us all) 

who is this i ‘m pretending i’m being
the one outside through whom i’m seeing
or somebody else i’m wishing i am
what’s this i’m feeling that i cannot see
this hole is the one here inside of me
now is i the fault for how i be
or this scared wrapping here
all around my knees
and what else can i be supposing to do
if nobody’s still seeing nobody in here
not even me
how else i going to be feeling me warm
‘cept wallowing over and over
in fantasizing every day and yesterday
so how come we’re still themm ones
who always be having to cry
and why it’s never nobody else besides us
who’re the ones who’s supposing to die
who’re the ones we’re supposing to die
who’re the ones we’re supposing to die

Copyright © 1993, 2004, 2018 Asili Ya Nadhiri

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