the soft and tortured yearning of the yardbird . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

the soft and tortured yearning of the yardbird
(a song for Charlie “Bird” Parker)

will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
i’m somewhere here
in this crowded dark room
alone in a corner
playing on the floor with broken things
my veins they fulling with nobody cares
spilling my days in a small pint jar
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
my sophistication is a syncopated thing
the stagger and swagger
they all mixed up together
in sweet round hips and homemade claims
lonely bellies sucking on voodoo bones
and sump’n tied here in me sanging
dat got no name
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
no time!NO TIME!no time there is in here with me
the trip is quick
a few words cussed in vacant lots
and sump’n waiting out here
i’m buried young at the end
of some other day
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo
will you hear me wont’cha do wont’cha dooooo

splashing water coloringed (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

splashing water coloringed

they spreadinged and swallowinged on
in this low droning stare
of who this who in here
who for they selfing
purpled grey splotchings aloninged
wrinkling and drying on out on one another
growinged hard too soon

welfaringed moments
they chanting and caressing us all
bleeding on through the veils
of invisibled-ling faces
running on out here
all over us all

now then in here wave-ing here when (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

if when is then
and then is when
and now is on and on
what then is now
what now is when
and when is ever then
and where in when and in what then
do stories we tell they all begin
and do they ever ever end
and what it is they all intend

now then in here wave-ing here when

in here i’m bound then for most never found
‘mongst a public litter that’s more renown
and this numbing i’m feeling in here when
keeps being spreading on out all over
dissipating your children aborting them now
raping us all on deeper mo’ deeper mo’ deeper
in the languishing retard of vicarious simulations
and you keeping on marching on just like you told
never minding ‘bout this something
you done’n’nicknamed it me
crowded in crowds you aloned aloning all alone
syncopated hallucinating in your own plastic arms
advertising patronizing emboldened perverse-nations
leeched you leaking on into a same one another
you wanting other but you scared you so scared!
of the feeling little left that you feeling it’s leaving
and you never ever ever make’it so you be seeing
what you wanting i’m always waiting in here waiting

but you keep on sucking on them-ed used sugar titties
cunningly consumed in the daunting consumption
of your own hypnotic and callous-ive consuming
you hallowing the hustlers desecrating your time
swelling your heads with masturbating rhymes
auctionating in palladiums of a popular clime
and you erasing me on mo’ furthering on away
smothering in spells of a boundless dismay
then sewing up into things of animated clay
as nows and thens and ever whens
keep keeping right on entangling

wandering here in this dark . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

wandering here in this dark
where it eating up the light
(for Ralph Ellison)

i hear no words
but these that mine
mouths open they wide
they make no sound
where my hands is they bound
i cannot find
in the bottles and cans
throwd here on the ground

who’s in this bag
what i totes for me
howcome me when they cut
they always see
something bleeding in here
that it never is me
aint i this shadow i supposed to be
dear god can you ever gone deliver me!
from inside here
where i’m supposed to be

choral-lizing juba-lizing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

choral-lizing juba-lizing a stultifying dis-synergizing
(chess-mastering is serpentine-ing mathematizing:
a wise one will always be smart,
but a smart one may never be wise)

coffling eyes numbing in the humm drumm sunging
of clamorous hustlers pluming in talented tenth–ing clubs
this ancient hubris   still scheming in gangs gangling on
leeching the blood of us all   spilling here looking
it mo’ insidious now nesting in nefarious vocalizings
anesthetizing synthesizings   of old rhythmating charms
dissolving all of us denying on in our rusing refusals
to just pause while here inside   and reverently muse
scared   we all stumbling running ‘round trying to hide
from this colding emptying   swelling torridly inside us
desperately fusing   propagating on out here all around
aloning is eroding the sands of our beaches
swallowing ourselves on in our own entangling arms
playing to the blaring sirens of this persistent dismaying
coffling eyes numbing in the humm drumm sunging
of clamorous hustlers pluming in talented tenth–ing clubs
this ancient hubris   still scheming in gangs gangling on
leeching the blood of us all   spilling here looking
it mo’ insidious now nesting in nefarious vocalizings
anesthetizing synthesizings   of old rhythmating charms
dissolving all of us denying on in our rusing refusals
to just pause while here inside   and reverently muse
standing up leaning we feeling around on our knees
snorting vain delusions of masturbating hands
shuffling our scant aborting ponderings of why
consuming all everything grabbing way ‘fore it comes
there is no anchoring ground to which we will bound
hypnotically sucking our dry brittle bones of renown
and rehearsing our vaunting howling enthrallings
so you knowing my face is the one that’s in vogue
just in case it be the case that we come to be found
coffling eyes numbing in the humm drumm sunging
of clamorous hustlers pluming in talented tenth–ing clubs
this ancient hubris   still scheming in gangs gangling on
leeching the blood of us all   spilling here looking
it mo’ insidious now nesting in nefarious vocalizings
anesthetizing synthesizings   of old rhythmating charms
dissolving all of us denying on in our rusing refusals
to just pause while here inside   and reverently muse

dark mattering in this spacing of time (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

dark mattering in this spacing of time

old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
this feeling it rooted
it rooted all down here inside us
and it spreaded out wide
here’fore in everybody’s eyes
and them weeds from the seed that it feed
they growing callous and numb
wrapping up in the rags that us find
them that they sewd in here
by for us own abandoning mind
old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
old man with your tin can
well us gone jes have to wait
for what it coming over yonder
‘cause here for us
there aint no other way
that my uncle willie he used to say
cropping ‘bacca everyday
he be snapping off the leaves
wit’his two big hands
and git’n into tomorrow
jes the best he can
say hambone hambone where you been
i been ‘round this world and i going again
hambone hambone now what you gone do
gone go one mo time so you can too
hambone hambone when this be done
just as soon as you give hambone some
i got me something here working
that ‘longs to nobody else
dont needs me nobody
but just me’n’myself
i can do anything
do anything what i choose
i dont need no drum
just need a new pair’a’shoes
i say hambone hambone what you gone be
hambone gone be who this is he
say hambone hambone what he this be
he be any somebody who aint this me
jes wanna!pull off! this shame
‘cause it too dark like me
this nappyheaded somebody
who this i dont wanna be
so i cut up my face
‘cause it there on you
do thangs a whole lot worst
i done learned how to
trying to hide in here
away in here where the sorrow
so busy duckin in behind
this each’n’every day
that i got no time to care
‘bout what here coming in the ‘morrow
slow fire it burning here
inside this withering womb
slow fire it burning in here
here inside this withering womb
the smoke it clear ‘fore my eyes
and the stink coming from it
in its smell is consumed
slow fire it burning here
inside this withering womb
slow fire it burning in here
here inside this withering womb
the smoke it clear ‘fore my eyes
and the stink coming from it
in its smell is consumed
i seeing naked little boys
laying raped
here in the belly
of somebody’s jail
slow fire it burning in here
and little bitty girls
with dry baggy breasts
nursing from they babies
for so to feed they newborn
here inside this withering womb
i hearing the choking silence
of swallowing cries
and the dissipating bellowing
of lost kinship ties
the smoke it clear ‘fore my eyes
and the hungry droning
of fat green blow flies
and the stink coming from it
in its smell is consumed
reaching hands they begging
grabbing on from everywhere
and i still never warm
they caint none of’em hold me
‘cause they got no arms
so i just keep on rolling
on up on into myself
all alone here inside
pulling here
down here
over me
holding on to me
just holding on to me
holding on to me
Lord i just wont let me be
i keep holding on to me
just holding on to me
i keep holding on to me
Lord i just caint let me be
holding on to me
just holding on to me
holding on to me
‘cause i’m holding on to me
holding on to me
just holding on to me
holding on to me
just ‘cause i’m holding on to me
so i just go on by me scheming
‘cause aint no use of me dreaming
here inside where it seeming
there’s nothing much more
than just to keep on seeming
holding on to me
just holding on to me
it like somebody’s in here
who this i aint who i be
apart of somebody else
i just caint tell who is me
so i stick out my arms
and grab what all that i see
holding on to me
just holding on to me
just oughta run away off
to where i too scared to go
but since i wont take a chance
i just gone stay here’n’dance
and keep on talking real fast
it make it all disappear
rhyming the ends
and making pretend
there aint nothing else
i much more better right here
and i dont care ‘bout what i doing
i strutt’n here for myself
got my my mouth mixing words
just like it all i got left
doom!DOOOOM!
DOOOM BA DOOM BA DOOOM DOOM
doom!DOOOOM!
DOOOM BA DOOM BA DOOOM DOOM
doom!DOOOOM!
DOOOM BA DOOM BA DOOOM DOOM
doom!DOOOOM!
DOOOM BA DOOM BA DOOOM DOOM
doom!DOOOOM!
DOOOM BA DOOM BA DOOOM DOOM
slow humping here in this sound
while i this somebody else
and this hole
still getting more deeper
it drinking all the water left
in them rivers it been said
that i’ve known
it right down here inside me
swallowing up
any light that i shown
the lord who that what i praise
in here standing here just like me
with they eyes closed looking
for just to see who they see
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
‘cause if i wont never let me seeee
who this i aint is all i ever be
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
‘cause if i wont never let me seeee
who this i aint is all i ever be
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
SHUPE SHO-BE-DO-BE-DO
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
SHO-BE-DO-BE-SHO-BE-DO-BE-DO
‘cause if i wont never let me seeee
who this i aint is all i ever be
DO-BE-DOOO-DO-BE-DO-BE-DO
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
SHUPE SHO-BE-DO-BE-DO
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee
what this i doing to me
SHO-BE-DO-BE-SHO-BE-DO-BE-DO
‘cause if i wont never let me seeee
who this i aint is all i ever be
DO-BE-DOOO-DO-BE-DO-BE-DO
why wont i never seeeeeeeeeeee

we’re suffering because of blind wanderers (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

we’re suffering because of blind wanderers

and why are you still tempting me
with charmed and syrupy ways
trying to pull me inside
those damp and carnivorous holes
where tender little things
are stalked and hunted for play
and chewed over and over
in fat greasy lips with gold covered teeth
’til nothing’s left
but dry baggy breasts and tird yellow eyes
when all I’m want’n to do
is to feed the hungers there begging inside you
and to warm dark rooms
where you hurrying to dress for tomorrow

and while you’re sliding deeper
down into unmarked beds
letting pale yellow stains
become your sacred name
the slobbering mouth of a preying flesh
is slowly swallowing all of you
along with some of me

is slowly swallowing all of you . . .
along with some of me

the wombing (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

the wombing

—

brown bodies they turning
close kin to one another
longing ‘cross a distance
honed close to a edge

dark shadows they leaning
where footprints they used to be
standing here alone
scared about the time

—

i cry i cry
this what dry in the eyes
of them who i see
staring here they at me
at this what they saying
caint they wont ever be

they realize they realize
looking there outside
they homeless cries
jelly-rolled in ways and clothes
and hand-me-downs they never knows
they shift to say the other way
and play they play
this play they play

—

the words pour’d out inside this horn
is born alone they painfully grown
in the passing silence of vacant spaces
naked eyes frozen in numbered faces
in the teasing smells of bygone places
and stubborn old ways they hardly knowd
still whispering here in little traces
and i’m scratching here trembling
with strange fevers won
from swallowing the stool passing on
in the dark dancing rows
of a drying and wind blown delta ground
nobody they comes they brings no cover
or the warm soothing balm of hungry ears
and those who when they called to hear
are conferenced there in some elsewhere
seems time in the rhythm getting shorter
what things here humming here must be heard
to nourish those waiting with thick plum lips
on all these things they sucking here from

glancing om here dancinged on (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

rolling eyes seamlessly drifting always shifting
fondling syllabating edges mumbling in our daring
bumping up against themselves grabbing for ballast
in rounding corners of this darkening-ness
they wilting repetitions chewing social-lations
from shuffling prisms of somebody’s else-ing
’round’n’round in the emptying arms
of our furthering impoundings

glancing om here dancinged on

robotic people warehousing sundownings
everyone ‘head of being ‘hind of the other
strutting on well-worn catwalks prancing
on out of the closets opening-up all around us
placebos colliding and too scared to stop talking
pushing this serpentining rubric accelerating on
trying to hide here behind these old undergrounds

this desperationing behind our prosthetic grinning
is terrorizing in the waving of its souring breath
digitizing pupils consecrated on altars of stealth
the rabid spinning of this limbo-nic prowling
is spreading here shrouding over all us all
herding us on in numbing re-runnings
swallowing us all on down inside
our desecrating caverning
of all us all

invisiblinging-ning . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

invisiblinging-ning-ing–ing–ing–ing-ing …
(grinding in the night thighs covering our eyes
mathematizing the worms of our own demise)

hooch’n dis hooch’n so’cause it hooch’n dis who
slow twirl’n regurgitating like every body else too
we snorting re-emulations each one of the others
here in the throats of our same dark holding
watchin the lips so how dey smooth slick snide’n
shuffling here on this stage keep’n’us all abide’n
hooch’n dis hooch’n so’cause it hooch’n dis who
slow twirl’n regurgitating like every body else too
hypnotized-ing pawns robotically swoon’n on
ensconcing here in the lap of abusing mis-usings
by hang’n on to denying that this what’us seeing
is our own selves here right there as our thems
yuh aint need’n no lottery ’cause everybody we in
us over dose’n fuh duh need’n uv feel’n “i win”
spin’n in the spin’n try’n to mask our giving-up
as this insidious pervers-a-nationing
is rabidly imbibing all of us all
with all of us entangling every one of us all
hooch’n dis hooch’n so’cause it hooch’n dis who
slow twirl’n regurgitating like every body else too
if i aint do’n dis what other else is i can doing
superlatrating this desperationing pretending
here strutting all out loud in this distending OM
patty-cake patty-cake nursing the rhyme
step for stepping us all us here in time
hooch’n dis hooch’n so’cause it hooch’n dis too
swirling surging all around in the purging
of this swallowed-ing mime

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