complicitationing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

complicitationing
(wantonly ravishing our tail)

we’re all just themmms
each one look’n all around trying to
hollering more louder than the others
‘cause all we’re all ever wanting
is just to be feeling
just like us here being seen

but this aint no time for saying “Sorry!”
like it’s some kinda childish overlook’n
or the fable-ing dawning
of a painful reborning again . . . !NO!
it’s that rabidly impoverishing refusal
to be owning this one in our mirror
a thickening darkening of darkening
and the ever swelling oozing of hiding
a shrouding immers-e-nationing
in the desperate surging
and addicting mesmerizing
of our long callousive invisibilize-ing
. . . in them ships how us brung
and that rock where us scrummed
the lady in the harbor telling all to come
so wallowing in a drunken celebrationing
of sucking one another rapidly on down
in the numbing and emptying coffle-ing
of this ever entangling themmming

. . . we’re all just themmms
each one look’n all around trying to
hollering more louder than the others
‘cause all we’re all ever wanting
is just to be feeling
just like us here being seen

groundlessing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

groundlessing
(numbing just like “it aint nothing but a thang!”)

this plastic grinning frowning
and vagrant collaging indifference
perpetrating in splashing rainbow’n colors
and niffty sleighting marching sounds
is flagrantly morphing us on into
wandering transmute’n apparitionings
always endlessly running on
to any no where that’s right here
—anesthetizing in the hands of mirages
waiting here still in our abating slots
loitering in the colding vacant arms
of being broken entitlement whatnots

our tongues is always swaggering slobber
castigate’n every other and plagiarize’n
bloating exaggerations of ourselves
and we’re always so obviously lie’n
vulgarly wallowing in public fits of deny’n
as more rabidly the onus of pretending
is rapidly swallowing’n’dissipating us all

we’re numbing shadows slow grinding
to hypnotic algorithming potions
cleverly ooz’n out of our lips rapid firing
enchanting ranting canting samplings
of entangling bodies always on stage
vivaciously convolutioning alone
infusing lotions of automate’n notions
who we’re lulling ourselves to believe
“i aint needing no nobody else
not even these abandoning some bodies
strutting ‘round and ‘round
too scared of being found
who we desperately nicknaming ME!”

cocoon-e-ry-ing (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

cocoon-e-ry-ing

i’m some where here inside this here
sopp’n this gross submission growing
on thick treacherous norms of denial
in mouths’n’eyes of plaintiff dreading
“i’m so tired and scared of being
so tired of being scared ”

blowing on hands rolling then for when
when for then and what as never ever
this aint no action portending repair
it’s just a common drooling of despair
i’m always aping some nother other
who’s a some body else just like me
stoutly excusing them selves too
—”oh no! No! NO!
it aint never our fault”

always try’n to wish my way around
the constant cornerstone-ing of now
by just staying right on here like i is
inside this yellowing transpicuous wall
of a desolating womb of suspend
with nothing acting as my subtend
not even a shadowing of again

complicitationing (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

complicitationing
(wantonly ravishing our tail)

we’re all just themmms
each one look’n all around trying to
hollering more louder than the others
‘cause all we’re all ever wanting
is just to be feeling
just like us here being seen

. . . we’re all just themmms
each one look’n all around trying to
hollering more louder than the others
‘cause all we’re all ever wanting
is just to be feeling
just like us here being seen

emptyingnessing (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

emptyingnessing

we’re here in this here
whose walls we cannot see
respirating in the notion of “this is mine!”
as the darkening inside this darkening-ness
is cleverly camouflaging its spreading here

each and every unfolding is enfolding
a colding arming accelerating this boding
’cause we running so scared
shouting too !loud! in being seen
for any other words to be heard

this swelling echoing is summoning
with hypnotic cascading kaleidescopings
impounding our tired applauding eyes
and big wax filled elephant ears
publicly denouncing this flagrant erasing

enclosing ourselves in this boundless sphere
every here is just the same some where
and when is always ever then
nothing is pulling on any other
in this numbing swelling feeling
of this being aloning

and how do you warm when you alone (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

and how do you warm when you alone
(paralleling)

what do you do when you alone and scared
cold there wait’n
you wait’n there by yourself
do you grab for those others
there just like you
trying to come all you can
‘fore it time to go home
or do you hypnotize your eyes
in them little bitty dream lies
trying to run away from there
just as far as you can
or do you try and learn the names
and hold the tails of them things
when you strolling in there
on them slippery dirt paths
with moons and coons and soft spooned tunes
locking doors you pretending
to make believe faces
throwing bottles you breaking glass
for the sound splattering there
against the silence
of dry and empty spaces
begging for a corner
you in there somewhere
spinning ’round in dark and bubbular places
or do you just keep pausing while you running
spitting and cussing at them there too
’cause they looking and smelling
they there just like you
doing all you know how
just trying to make it go away

rehearsals (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

rehearsals

i always practice ‘fore i go outside
here where it safe and where i can hide
chew’n everything over ‘fore anything’s said
living in a play made here in my head

the words i choose when i’m in here
say what i mean with little fear
“they gone say that i gone say this
and this is what i will insist”

hunching my shoulders snapping my heels
this shakin’ inside it tells what i feel
but i know for sho when i gets out there
gone carry on then like’i really don’t care

by the time noon come i be say’n i won
they all know i’m lying soon as it’s done
but i keep go’n on in this drunken way
lean’n on wish’n out here every day

what lil’l i do gets stretched outa size
i tell stories over like every word’s wise
then i walk away slowly wit’a dip’in’my stroll
another day do’n nut’n but here growing old

seems i’m always talkin’ ‘bout what i gone do
all the time sit’n here still too scared to
nurse’n dreams under trees askin silver bull cans
how long i gone be acting ‘fore i turns into a man

what else should we be expecting . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

what else should we be expecting . . .

drown’n here swirlling ‘round splash’n
grabbing onto soft decaying straws
spilling out of our serpentining maze
silently begging loudly for warm arms
caroming on away from one another
away-ing on away-ing on awaying
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
desperately so arrogantly masquerading
in the glaring darkness of our feeling alone
orchestrated march’ns in coffling crowds
they emptying fictitious demonstrations
of refuse’n to perceive our self abusing ruse
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
here spinning collateralling aboundings
of our INCESS-ant duplicitious transgress’ns
festering ‘tween walls of our own disdain
of how we’re hustling so not to realize
this celebratory racing to our own demise
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing
this seeming like we seemings
dissolving on into kaleidoscopic pixilations
and the quicksanding haze of our faze-ing
with it’s hovering thickening is every where
infusing blues marrowing in all we dare
and keep on claiming we’re doing the other
but so scared in this swallowing evanescing
we just can’t be letting ourselves to be care’n
and on and on and on keep going
what will it take ‘fore our knowing
we’re growing this what we’re sowing

humani-vore-ing (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

humani-vore-ing

“so what’s wrong with you now!”
dis gnaw’n on’me! dat’s what’s wrong
“no way! you’re just making sump’n up!”
i aint making-up a goddamn thing!
“all right then where’s your proof! huh!”
LOOK!!!I’M ALREADY BLEED’N!!!
“Yeah! it’s because of what you doing wrong!”
‘cause of what !I’M! doing wrong!
“nobody else here’s complaining ‘bout bleeding
so what else can it be! but i’ll tell you what . . .
if you’ll just calm down and act more civilized
i’ll tell you exactly what you need to be doing”
and who in the hell you ‘spose to be!
“the one you need to be listening to right now!
anyway . . . early somewhere in the morning
when you standing there in the mirror”
how a body be stand’n in a damn mirror!
“listen! . . . you just be telling the rest of us
what you’re feeling like you’re seeing”
‘spose i say’n i aint see’n nothing
aint no body else gon be there
so how you gon know if i’m lying!
“what do you think we all be saying then
‘bout what we’re feeling like we’re seeing
when we’re standing there too
nothing!!!nothing!!!nothing!!!
because you caint be saying nothing
about nothing except nothing! . . .
now aint you got some damn nerve
here acting all out in our pretending
whining loud invisiblizing like all us all
running scared lubricating hallucinating
try’n to hide here in behind
all this seeming that we’re doing
Now Just Who In The Hell
Do You Think You Are!”

em-spiralling-ning-ing . . . (a tonal drawing written in poetic form)

em-spiralling-ning-ing . . .

desperationings in twirlling confoundings
spasmings of enthraling ratiocinationing
emswallowing here in our colding Oms
checkmating in them guises we wear’n
swirl’n ‘round disconsolationing on
declare’n us be anon phenomenon
conceiving in lonely catacombs
smugly we’re just erasing us
pretending they our homes
all in toothless gummings
who always never done
of our own deceptive
we ever whirlling on
serpentining ruse
in alone’n serries
us in our maws
birlling inside
dissolving
on down
scared
in’my
just
me
‘n
‘n
‘n
.
.
.

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